Image Courtesy Marvel Studios
Which father figure’s death hit you the most in the feels?
Uncle Ben vs Tony Stark.
It’s the Spider-Man father figure showdown. Who’s death is more impactful? Is it good ole classic Ben Parker? The mild-mannered, well-intentioned paternal uncle of the teenaged superhero we all know and love?
Or is it billionaire playboy turned Avenger with an arc reactor of gold?
In the last twenty years, we see Uncle Ben die in two major Spider-Man film releases, both in Spider-Man (2002) and The Amazing Spider-Man (2012). Thankfully, we don’t have to relive one of Peter Parker’s worst memories in the latest and greatest Spider-Man films from the MCU. Instead, Ben Parker dies off screen and Peter and Aunt May have moved on with their lives and Tom Holland’s Peter Parker doesn’t have to walk around with a raging guilt-trip over his uncle. At least if Peter feels guilty, the audience isn’t hyper-aware of it, which helps the latest franchise feel fresh and new again.
Anyone who has seen Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame would be hard-pressed to choose Ben Parker in this scenario and for good reason. The two most heartbreaking scenes in the films have both Tony Stark and Peter Parker witnessing the other’s end in front of their eyes, completely helpless to do anything to stop it.
Tony Stark, The Dad We All Needed
An unwitting father figure, Tony Stark helps transform Peter from a hapless, neighborhood good guy to a more mature, responsible, and accountable hero. In doing this, Stark himself experiences tremendous character growth in the later MCU films. His self-righteousness and arrogance are replaced with humility and empathy. We see Stark’s transformation into a more paternal figure begin in Iron Man 3 when he briefly teams up with 10-year-old Harley. The transformation feels complete in Spider-Man: Homecoming. Everything comes full circle when he decides to help the Avengers go back in time with the chance he could bring back Peter, ultimately at the expense of raising his own daughter.
In both Homecoming and Far From Home, it’s evident Peter fully starts to grasp the idea of accountability and that mistakes and impulsiveness have consequences. Viewers see Peter struggle with his frustration at not being involved more or assigned more serious missions in Homecoming while in Far From Home we see him understand the depth of a serious mission and an unwillingness to dive right in. This is his most selfish moment, but we can easily forgive him for it. After all, he is still a teenager, and he wants to kiss the girl he likes.
Once Peter does unwillingly help out and fulfill his obligation, he turns Tony’s last gift to him over to Mysterio, or Quentin Beck, thinking he is worthy of his trust. Peter does this because he genuinely believes Tony would have wanted him to turn the reigns over to someone who could “do it better”. He goes with his gut, even if he is a little too eager to give it all up. It’s probably the biggest reason why he couldn’t see through Beck, because he wanted to believe the lie too.
Of course, Peter soon realizes he effed up in a major way (thank you MJ!) and quickly goes out to set things right. It’s important to recognize that Peter and MJ, who are peers, figure this out and Peter doesn’t have to be told by a parent figure why he was wrong and what to do to set things right. He knows what he has to do and goes out immediately to report that he a) messed up and b) is going to fix it. These are things Tony Stark and his experiences with the Avengers have taught him.
Now back to Uncle Ben. (For the purpose of this article, we’ll pick Sam Raimi’s Uncle Ben.)
With great power comes great responsibility.
Peter has a completely human moment in not wanting to help out the scammer who screws him out of money. We all know this story. In not doing that, the resulting chain of events has Uncle Ben dying and Peter believing that it’s all his fault. Nothing against Uncle Ben. How could he have known that he was going to guilt his nephew into being a superhero? Acting and directing aside, 2019’s Peter Parker is more likable and relatable because he’s not guilted into his role. Or at least it doesn’t feel that way.
This article ended up being more about who is a better influence on Peter Parker than which death hit us the hardest. In both cases, the clear winner is Tony Stark. We had 11 years with Tony Stark and 11 minutes with Ben Parker.
Sorry, Uncle Ben.
Which one would you choose?
Want to read more on Spider-Man: Far From Home? Read our review or listen to our podcast!
